In My Heart
by Lady-Lexi
Summary: So many people loved him. So many people hope against hope for his return. A series of songfics reflecting on everyone's favourite wizard's disappearance.


**For Alana, the SleepingEmeraldDragon. Because when I asked for ideas, she waved her hand and said, "I know."**

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**_"Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."-- --Oprah Winfrey_**

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**It's amazing  
How you can speak  
Right to my heart**

You knew, didn't you Harry? You knew it would be today. I don't know how … all I know is that it was something in your eyes that told me, told everyone that today was the day.

You'd waited long enough. We all had. This war had gone on long enough. Too many lives had been lost, too many minds corrupted, too many hearts broken. You were ready.

But still, even though I knew it was time, my heart ached. My heart was telling me to hold you and never let you go, so no one could ever take you away from us.

The war has been hard on us all. Trying and trying to grasp on to the only things we had left – each other. Trying to keep a nation and a world together to fight for the light.

**Without saying a word,  
You can light up the dark**

But even in the darkest of times, there was hope. The day I married Ron was the happiest day of my life, and only the days my darlings were born could second it. And you were there.

You, looking uncomfortable yet dashingly handsome in your suit as you hugged me and wished me luck, stood by Ron and watched as I walked down the aisle. You, who gave a speech at the reception that had us all laughing and crying at once. You, who held my hand as my first child was born, promising all the while that Ron was coming.

**Try as I may  
I could never explain  
What I hear when  
You don't say a thing**

You were always their favourite uncle. You didn't spoil them or give them presents or anything like that. But you had such a way with children.

You taught my darling Maggie to read, and Will to ride a broomstick. You taught PJ his first lessons in duelling. But you taught all my children so much more than how to do something. You taught them about life, and love, and respect.

And you taught me as well. Not with words, but with the experiences you gave me, the looks … you were my first friend, and I'll always remember how I felt the first time you smiled at me.

**The smile on your face  
Lets me know  
That you need me**

Life was never easy for you, was it Harry? You grew up thinking you were nothing, only to find that you were something. And you were so much more than that, my friend. You were everything we all wanted to be. You battled every danger that came your way and came out victorious.

I came to cherish your smile.Your smile was what I loved the most about you. You were our Harry, and you didn't smile at just anyone. As the years got harder, you smiled less and less, until finally it became rare to see you smile at anyone.

But you smiled at us.

**There's a truth  
In your eyes  
Saying you'll never leave me**

You didn't cry like the rest of us. I used to think you were incapable of feeling sadness at all. I used to scream at you that you were inconsiderate, cold, unfeeling … but now I know that your grief went beyond crying. Every death was a blow to your heart, knowing that every Order member who died did so to give you time, every innocent man and woman and child because you hadn't killed HIM yet.

And although you never cried, your eyes betrayed you. They spoke so much louder than anything you could possibly say. And I knew you would stand by us all to the end.

**The touch of your hand says  
You'll catch me  
Whenever I fall**

You've been here through thick and thin, Harry James Potter. You let me and the kids stay with you when I left Ron, and then worked so hard to get us back together that I think we would have just so as not to disappoint you. You hugged me when my parents died and held my hand at the funerals. When PJ was taken you didn't wait for orders, you went to save him. And we all loved you all the more for it.

**You say it best  
When you say  
Nothing at all**

I'll always remember the boy Harry. That shy little smile and big, curious eyes that morphed into the grin and wink of the young adult, and then into the kind smile and sparkling eyes that belonged to the grown up.

As teenagers our triumphs and troubles seemed so big, so significant, but as we entered adulthood they all blurred into one as we faced the trials and tribulations of being an adult. And yet I still remember everything so clearly – like a photo album of images and looks that I will never banish to the back of my closet.

**All day long  
I can hear people  
Talking out loud**

And today it all ended. There was chaos and panic when they attacked. Dumbledore summoned the order. But he didn't summon you. You were already there. Everyone stood together, gave each other one last hug. They all blended into one, so many people saying goodbye as if they'd never see each other again. And when I looked at you, I knew they would.

**But when you hold me near  
You drown out the crowd**

The only thing I can remember is when you put your hands on my shoulders, looked down at me, then drew me into a hug and kissed my cheek. You glanced over to whereyour daughter stood with Maggie and Will.

Thenyou looked at me again and I could hear whatyou were saying as clearly as if you'd said it out loud. 'Look after everyone, Mione. It's your job now.' And my eyes filled with tears as I huggedyou and heldyour face between my hands and ran my fingers overyour features, engraving into my memory the face of my best friend.

**Try as they may  
They can never define  
What's been said  
Between your  
Heart and mine**

You stood in front of us all when HE arrived. You stood so tall and proud, and you looked so powerful. And then you duelled. Both sides watched as their leaders fought. Ron had his hand on my shoulder, Dumbledore his arms around McGonagall.

And then you said those two awful words. Words that sounded so foreign being said by your sweet, good, kind voice. Light filled the hall, but it wasn't green. It was white - so white that no matter how hard I tried to keep my eyes on you I had to shut them tightly. But when it cleared, only one body lay on the ground. That was fitting. You deserved so much more than a cold grey headstone in some cemetry miles from the people you love. It is fitting that the mystery of what happened to Harry Potter will be a mystery for all of eternity. Rest in Peace, my friend. Your legend will live on till the end of time.

**The touch of your hand**

**Says you'll catch me**

**Whenever I fall**

You'll always be in my heart, Harry. I'll never forget you as long as I live. As I stand here, watching your daughter grow into a young lady every bit as beautiful as her father, I can sense you. And I know that you will always guide us, and I know you will always be in my heart. The boy with the curious smile, the teen with the dashing grin, and the man with the kind look that will be remembered for eternity.

**You say it best …**

**When you say nothing at all.**

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A/N: This is hopefully the first in several songfics based on Harry's death. What do you think? If you'd like more, please review so I'm encouraged to write more!

Lexi Summers

Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and Ronan Keating sings When You Say Nothing At All. Merry Christmas!


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